Personally-Determined Disqualifiers

What follows is the entire list of disqualifiers for the study with 600 persons from Central Alberta who listed qualities they knew they would not marry. These are rank ordered form the most frequently cited to the least frequently cited.  The first 25 differ slightly form the first 25 in The Compatibility Code because we combined some categories for that list.  There are 113 items in the list.

  1. Substance abuse
  2. Smokes
  3. Non-Christian
  4. Sexually promiscuous
  5. Unsanitary
  6. Abusive
  7. Dishonest
  8. Low IQ
  9. Physically unattractive
  10. Different denomination
  11. Drinks
  12. Lazy
  13. Lacks humor/ not fun
  14. Overweight
  15. Hates children
  16. Unemployed
  17. Selfish
  18. Financial problems
  19. Controlling/domineering
  20. Personality mismatch
  21. Antisocial
  22. No respect
  23. Unmotivated/lacking ambition
  24. Different interests
  25. Proud
  26. Problems with in laws or friends
  27. Anger problems
  28. Pessimistic
  29. Poor
  30. Narrow and opinionated
  31. Emotionally unstable
  32. Different values
  33. Prejudiced/racist
  34. Doesn’t trust
  35. Diseased
  36. Jealous/codependent
  37. Divorced
  38. Significant age discrepancy
  39. Unloving
  40. Uncaring
  41. Insensitive
  42. Ex-wife or kids from former relationship
  43. Communication difficulties
  44. Addictions
  45. Narcissistic
  46. Non-family oriented
  47. Immature
  48. Spendthrift, expensive tastes
  49. Body hair
  50. Critical
  51. Criminal background
  52. Unkind
  53. Workaholic
  54. Depressive
  55. Un-athletic
  56. Different ethnicity
  57. Handicaps
  58. Impatient
  59. Flirtatious
  60. Controlling
  61. Hatred/bitterness
  62. Low self esteem
  63. Don’t share similar goals
  64. Irresponsible
  65. Bad habits
  66. Stingy
  67. Hates animals
  68. Poor manners
  69. Not a virgin
  70. Not a vegetarian
  71. immobile
  72. Different political party
  73. Shallow
  74. Excessive emotionality, cries a lot
  75. Greedy
  76. Problems with commitment
  77. Worldly minded
  78. Weak convictions
  79. Doesn’t attend church
  80. Not sexy
  81. Unaffectionate
  82. Not articulate or witty
  83. Height discrepancy
  84. Hates the outdoors
  85. Boring
  86. Doesn’t like or love me
  87. Parties too much
  88. Background differences
  89. Indecisive
  90. Can’t cook
  91. We don’t enjoy each other
  92. Profanity
  93. Intemperate
  94. Not romantic
  95. Passive
  96. Too young
  97. Unforgiving
  98. From a broken home
  99. Needy
  100. Not genuine
  101. Not musical
  102. Annoying personal characteristics
  103. Not accepting
  104. Talks too much
  105. Argumentative
  106. Lacks teachable spirit
  107. Expedient
  108. Can’t parent
  109. Weak
  110. Distance relationship
  111. Dogmatic
  112. Doesn’t challenge me
  113. Overly idealistic

Chapter 8 Resources

Prescripts for Relationship Health

  1. Disqualifiers
  2. Testing

Tools and Worksheets

  1. List of Personal Disqualifiers from pages 109 & 117 (PDF, 144 KB)
 
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