Personal Qualities List and Descriptions

Additional Resources for Chapter 5, page 67

The objective of this link is to provide you an array of qualities and characteristics under each of the ten topics designed to assist you in creating your own list of personal qualities.  We follow the order of topics from the Personal Characteristics Chart—located at the end of  chapter 5 and available (in larger size) under the tools icon in this chapter.

Most of the 168 items listed will not apply.  That means that although you may be, for instance, occasionally depressed; you would not enter that on your chart as a personal characteristic.  You need to include items that are: 1) really characteristic of you, and 2) likely to have an impact on who you date and eventually marry.

Some of the items are single words, others have a question mark after (asking, is this or is this not an issue?) and others suggest a continuum to alert you to the range of possibilities in a particular area. The lists are, of course, not comprehensive.  But if you wish to complete an excellent profile of yourself, these items should cue ideas you had not previously considered.

See the Reference Personal Qualities List in this chapter for a much more extensive list.

Social and Relational

  1. Extroverted vs. introverted
  2. Loving vs. unloving
  3. Caring vs. uncaring
  4. Level of respect shown to others: low vs. high
  5. Critical vs. appreciative
  6. Level of humor: absent vs. abundant
  7. Communication ability
  8. Prejudiced or racist?
  9. Needy?
  10. Sociability: highly social vs. anti social
  11. Affectionate vs. cold
  12. Articulate vs. verbally clumsy
  13. Witty vs. dull
  14. Talkative vs. quiet
  15. Level of romanticism: low to high
  16. Sensitive vs. hard boiled
  17. Emotionality: excessive vs. cool and reserved
  18. Party animal vs. loner
  19. Level of loyalty
  20. Tactful vs. hurtfully blundering


  1. Overall importance of family: central vs. peripheral
  2. Loves extended family
  3. Enjoys huge family gatherings
  4. Children: wants vs. doesn’t want; loves vs. dislikes
  5. Divorced: yourself, parents? Number of former marriages
  6. Children from previous relationships
  7. Stability and quality of family of origin
  8. Controlling?
  9. Domineering?
  10. Jealous?
  11. Codependent?
  12. Good parenting skills
  13. Playful?
  14. Are there “problem people” from former relationships
  15. Pets: loves/wants them vs. hates/refuses them


  1. Christian?
  2. Denomination?
  3. Honest vs. morally flexible
  4. Able to forgive vs. holds a grudge
  5. Spiritual vs. worldly minded
  6. Strength of convictions
  7. Attitude toward church attendance
  8. Attitude toward involvement with Church ministries
  9. Patterns of worship and prayer in the home?
  10. Frequency of reading spiritually uplifting material


  1. Selfish vs. altruistic
  2. Active vs. passive
  3. Anger control and expression
  4. Kindness
  5. Patience vs. impatience
  6. Neurotic vs. emotionally stable
  7. Self-esteem: Healthy vs. unhealthy
  8. Humble vs. proud
  9. Commitment: able vs.  unable to form secure commitments
  10. Level of control: low vs. high level of control
  11. Manipulative?
  12. Industry: lazy bum to workaholic
  13. Flirtatious?
  14. Frequency of depression: rare to omnipresent
  15. Stubborn vs. open to suggestions
  16. Attitude: Optimistic vs. pessimistic
  17. Poverty mindset vs. abundance mentality
  18. Decisive vs. waffling
  19. Highly principled vs. expedient
  20. Genuine vs. trivial
  21. Harbors hatred or bitterness
  22. Generous vs. stingy
  23. Broad minded vs. opinionated
  24. Narcissistic, that is, obsessed with self
  25. Ambitious vs. content with the status quo
  26. Level of energy: weak vs. Strong
  27. Interesting vs. boring
  28. Impulsive/reactive vs. thoughtful/planning
  29. Shallow vs. profound
  30. Cooperative vs. stubborn

Personal Habits

  1. Neat and orderly vs. slovenly and disorderly
  2. Early riser?
  3. Tightly structured time management?
  4. Smoking?
  5. Drinking?
  6. Drug use?
  7. Caffeine?
  8. Squeaky clean vs. unsanitary
  9. Addictions: gambling, porn, soap operas, substances
  10. Sexuality: responsible vs. promiscuous
  11. Prudent vs. spendthrift
  12. Swears vs. verbally responsible
  13. Cultured vs. barbarian
  14. Responsible vs. irresponsible
  15. Argumentative vs. conflict avoider
  16. Passive aggressive?
  17. Work to create balance
  18. Work to get into the “divine flow”


  1. Music: enjoys listening vs. actively involved
  2. Love of the outdoors
  3. Spiritual growth
  4. Evangelism
  5. Dogs, cats, or other animals
  6. Classical music/opera
  7. Reading
  8. Classic movies
  9. Football/baseball/hockey/basketball/Olympic sports
  10. Personal growth
  11. Extraordinary talent or accomplishments
  12. Shop till you drop fanatic?
  13. Level of involvement/obsession in any of the areas listed above


  1. Employed?
  2. Profession
  3. Importance of advancement in your profession
  4. Likelihood of change of location or change of profession
  5. Pride in performance
  6. Enjoyment of your profession
  7. How well your job provides financially
  8. Investment activities
  9. Present financial prosperity
  10. Goals to achieve wealth
  11. Entrepreneurial
  12. Reading and watching “trade” books/videos
  13. Committed to personal growth?
  14. Content with the status quo?
  15. Activities designed to improve your mind?
  16. Average number of books read per year
  17. Workaholic?
  18. Risk taker vs. obsessed with safety
  19. Visionary vs. lives in the moment
  20. Logical thinker vs. emotional, reactive thinker
  21. Level of education

Physical Characteristics

  1. Age
  2. Height
  3. Weight: Obese, overweight, ideal weight, anorexic
  4. Body build
  5. Level of attractiveness
  6. Ethnicity
  7. Sexiness, level of allure: low to high
  8. Physical handicaps?
  9. Athleticism


  1. Healthy vs. prone to illness
  2. Athleticism: low to high
  3. Regular exercise regimen vs. none
  4. Dietary (e.g., Vegetarian, low fat, high fiber, etc.)
  5. Weight reduction/maintenance program
  6. Exercise enthusiast
  7. Avoid exercise at all costs
  8. Read books/magazines and watch videos about health and fitness


  1. Member of city organizations (such as city council)
  2. Member of service clubs (Rotary, Interact, Elks, Lions)
  3. Active member of church
  4. Participate in church ministries
  5. Make financial contributions to missions or other worthy causes
  6. Member of other local organizations: PTA, SPCA
  7. Athletics coach
  8. Music teacher, director, conductor
  9. Work with homeless and disadvantaged
  10. Give blood
  11. Participate in town or highway clean ups
  12. Work actively with social causes (global warming, pollution etc.)
  13. Generous
  14. Giving


  1. Politics: party, interest in
  2. Country of origin

Additional Resources

Qualities list with descriptions of each quality:

Chapter 5 Resources

Reference and Research

  1. Personal Qualities List

Tools and Worksheets

  1. Her Personal Characteristics from pages 67 & 75 (PDF, 153 KB)
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