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Additional Information for Chapter 2, Page 15 Ideally romantic partners should be excellent friends. Ignoring gender, sexual, or romantic issues for the moment, what sorts of people become good friends? Typically friends are those with whom you share similar interests and activities. Why are the majority of musicians’ friends other musicians? Artists’ friends tend toRead more

Additional Information for Chapter 2, page 16 The issue of shared passionate mission, vision, or goals is addressed in two places in The Compatibility Code. First, the topic is overviewed in Chapter 2 dealing with basic components of an excellent marriage. Then the final chapter (Chapter 12) concludes with a further discussion of shared passionate Mission/Vision/GoalsRead more

Additional Information for Chapter 2, page 18 The importance of traditions and share meanings can’t be over emphasized. At one level they are simple acts (or complex ones in some instances), but their influence extends far beyond the acts themselves. As a parallel look at the names below and consider all the images that goRead more

Additional Information on Chapter 2, page 19 The opposite of encouragement and expressions of gratitude is criticism. Criticism destroys. A wise person can benefit from helpful criticism, but few are that wise, and most criticism is decidedly NOT helpful and is instead designed to hurt. I have called criticism “the cheapest form of human emission.”Read more

Additional Information for Chapter 2, page 20 The spiritual or philosophical perspective you hold represents essentially the foundation on which you live your life. It is important that a couple share similar perspectives. For example, one person may believe: “If I have the ability I should make as much money as I possibly can.” ContrastRead more

Additional Information for Chapter 2, page 21 When college football coach Knut Rockne said “Winning isn’t everything, it is the only thing,”2-6 he parallels the importance of communication in a relationship. To rephrase: Communication isn’t important in a relationship, it is the relationship. Have you ever experienced explaining yourself to a loved one, and, evenRead more

Additional Information on Chapter 2, page 22 One does not need to be married to establish excellent conflict-resolution skills. In fact those who have learned to resolve conflict early in the relationship are likely to continue those healthy patterns on into their marriage. There are couples who fight like cats and dogs throughout the courseRead more

Additional Information on Chapter 2, page 22 The Compatibility Code establishes that commitment extends well beyond avoiding violation. There are actually three classes of activities associated with commitment: 1. Don’t violate the basic rules of marriage 2. Don’t behave in such a way that your partner has legitimate reason to suspect possible violation 3. LiveRead more

Additional Information on Chapter 2, page 23 Realization follows image. Anything that exists that was created by humans was started out as an image in someone’s mind. Family follows the same model. The family that is envisioned by a couple prior to marriage is likely to be the reality that emerges. There is such astonishingRead more

Additional Information for Chapter 2, page 23 The Compatibility Code does a good job identifying the importance of having growth mechanisms in place to support an excellent marriage. In this section we explore different methods of ensuring growth and at the end of this section we identify some books that are particularly good at encouragingRead more