50 Ways to Keep Your Lover: Turn Up The Heat and Add Some Sizzle

“How do I love thee, let me count the ways” may possibly be one of the most famous beginnings to a love poem. And, Elizabeth Barret Browning certainly captured everlasting heartfelt love on paper. But here let’s get more practical. Research has verified that keeping the flame alive in a marriage is most closely related to frequently expressing love toward your partner in a number of different ways. More important is to express love in a way that is most enjoyed by your partner.  Gary Chapman in his book The Five Love Languages, gives insight on how to understand what your partner enjoys and we’ve used his helpful categories to create some action steps for you to take. So why don’t you turn up the heat! Print out the list below for 50 different ideas to give some sizzle to your relationship.

 Expressions of Affirmation

Write him a love letter and send it to his work address
Hide a note of encouragement in his briefcase or coat pocket
Write “I love you” on the steamy mirror when she’s in the shower
Keep a picture of the two of you in plain sight
Never say anything negative about her to others
Thank him for earning a living
Decorate the house with balloons—one for every month you have known her
Turn to him in public and whisper, “On a scale of 1 to 10, you’re 12!”
Send a thank you to him every day for an entire week; be specific in your gratitude
After you’re talked on the phone, call her back in a few minutes to tell her how much you miss her.

Quality Time

Watch 2 hours of football [or whatever his favorite sport is] without acting like a martyr
Turn off the phone, TV, and pager and make her your top priority
Climb a mountain then watch a sunset together
Serenade her with your special song (if you can’t sing, do the CD)
Let him take you hunting or fishing [of alternate activities] and really try to enjoy it
Share memories of the first time you said “I love you” to each other
Laugh at his jokes, even if you have heard them 100 times.
Hold her favorite candy bar in your teeth and offer her a bite
Agree on a place you would like to go together.  Put a piggy bank in an accessible place to begin saving for the trip
Take turns reading aloud from your favorite book


Fill the cookie jar with his favorite cookies
Buy her a gift certificate to her favorite make-up and perfume store
Send HIM flowers
Don’t try to talk seriously about your relationship during the Super bowl [Stanley Cup, World Series, NBA Championships, Olympics etc.]
Buy a season ticket to his favorite sport
Always look your best in public because you are a reflection of each other’s love
Squirrel away some money to surprise her with something she would like
When you’re going out (particularly if you are pressed for time), prove to him that you can dress as quickly as him
Listen to her when she offers helpful (translated “infuriating”) criticism
Watch the movie SHE wants to watch

Acts of Service

Bake his favorite cake (or whatever food is near and dear to his heart)
Get her car washed, waxed and filled with gas
Do HIS chores from time to time
Don’t organize his toolbox
Don’t gripe when her friends invade the house
Pray for each other every day
Ask his mother for the recipe to his favorite desert
Take the day off and become her “servant for the day” doing whatever she wants
Keep her favorite flavor of ice cream in the freezer at all times
Have his favorite magazine waiting for him in his chair

Physical Touch

Buy yourself something sexy that he will enjoy
Cuddle together in front of the fireplace, not the TV
Leave him a sexy message on his voice mail at work
Take a dance class together
Give her a massage
Take turns initiating love making
Soak in a hot tub together
Express love to her in ways that allow her to relax and does not require a response (fingers through hair, foot rubs, back rubs, back scratches)
Hold hands when standing in line
On a long trip, kiss every time you cross a state line

Now you’re thinking! Plan a couple a week and I bet you will have thought of another 50 ways to keep your lover.

Posted by Elizabeth George in Quality Marriage and tagged , , , on February 17th, 2011.


6 responses to “50 Ways to Keep Your Lover: Turn Up The Heat and Add Some Sizzle”

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  6. Myung Dagon says:

    Hi there! This blog post couldn’t be written any better! Looking at this post reminds me of my previous roommate! He always kept preaching about this. I most certainly will send this post to him. Fairly certain he’s going to have a good read. Many thanks for sharing!

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