50 Ways to Keep Your Lover: Turn Up The Heat and Add Some Sizzle
“How do I love thee, let me count the ways” may possibly be one of the most famous beginnings to a love poem. And, Elizabeth Barret Browning certainly captured everlasting heartfelt love on paper. But here let’s get more practical. Research has verified that keeping the flame alive in a marriage is most closely related to frequently expressing love toward your partner in a number of different ways. More important is to express love in a way that is most enjoyed by your partner. Gary Chapman in his book The Five Love Languages, gives insight on how to understand what your partner enjoys and we’ve used his helpful categories to create some action steps for you to take. So why don’t you turn up the heat! Print out the list below for 50 different ideas to give some sizzle to your relationship.
Expressions of AffirmationWrite him a love letter and send it to his work address Hide a note of encouragement in his briefcase or coat pocket Write “I love you” on the steamy mirror when she’s in the shower Keep a picture of the two of you in plain sight Never say anything negative about her to others Thank him for earning a living Decorate the house with balloons—one for every month you have known her Turn to him in public and whisper, “On a scale of 1 to 10, you’re 12!” Send a thank you to him every day for an entire week; be specific in your gratitude After you’re talked on the phone, call her back in a few minutes to tell her how much you miss her.
Quality TimeWatch 2 hours of football [or whatever his favorite sport is] without acting like a martyr Turn off the phone, TV, and pager and make her your top priority Climb a mountain then watch a sunset together Serenade her with your special song (if you can’t sing, do the CD) Let him take you hunting or fishing [of alternate activities] and really try to enjoy it Share memories of the first time you said “I love you” to each other Laugh at his jokes, even if you have heard them 100 times. Hold her favorite candy bar in your teeth and offer her a bite Agree on a place you would like to go together. Put a piggy bank in an accessible place to begin saving for the trip Take turns reading aloud from your favorite book
GiftsFill the cookie jar with his favorite cookies Buy her a gift certificate to her favorite make-up and perfume store Send HIM flowers Don’t try to talk seriously about your relationship during the Super bowl [Stanley Cup, World Series, NBA Championships, Olympics etc.] Buy a season ticket to his favorite sport Always look your best in public because you are a reflection of each other’s love Squirrel away some money to surprise her with something she would like When you’re going out (particularly if you are pressed for time), prove to him that you can dress as quickly as him Listen to her when she offers helpful (translated “infuriating”) criticism Watch the movie SHE wants to watch
Acts of ServiceBake his favorite cake (or whatever food is near and dear to his heart) Get her car washed, waxed and filled with gas Do HIS chores from time to time Don’t organize his toolbox Don’t gripe when her friends invade the house Pray for each other every day Ask his mother for the recipe to his favorite desert Take the day off and become her “servant for the day” doing whatever she wants Keep her favorite flavor of ice cream in the freezer at all times Have his favorite magazine waiting for him in his chair
Physical TouchBuy yourself something sexy that he will enjoy Cuddle together in front of the fireplace, not the TV Leave him a sexy message on his voice mail at work Take a dance class together Give her a massage Take turns initiating love making Soak in a hot tub together Express love to her in ways that allow her to relax and does not require a response (fingers through hair, foot rubs, back rubs, back scratches) Hold hands when standing in line On a long trip, kiss every time you cross a state line
Now you’re thinking! Plan a couple a week and I bet you will have thought of another 50 ways to keep your lover.